Ads from the Fifties

The Sensitive Man

The Sensitive Man

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end
up leaving together.

They get back to his place and as he shows her around his
apartment., she notices that one wall of his
bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet,
cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the
bedroom,with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along
the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the
length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an
obviously masculine guy
to have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his
sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and
continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself
thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him
lightly on the lips

He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
and he romantically lifts her in
his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other's
clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she
responds with more passion,
more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night
of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in
the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently
strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well,how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
strokes her cheek,
looks deeply into her eyes,

and says:

'Help yourself to any prize
from the middle shelf'

best Valentine's Day gift ever

I really nailed it this morning.
What with the recession and all, I thought it was best to get creative w/r/t the gift I would get my wife this Valentine's day.
She likes antiques (after all, she's married to one) and is a top notch homemaker.
I found this great combination of antique and utility on eBay.
It's a heavy duty iron for the real professional ironing person. You've got COMPLETE control over the steam output with a full set of dials that can be tweaked to produce the perfectly ironed business shirt and/or cotton y-fronts.

What a surprise she got this morning when she opened up the package. It brought her to tears! She said "I CAN'T believe this!" and that I was "incredible".
And she's been on the phone all morning telling her friends about the unbelievable present I got for her.

So, there you are, men. Keep your eyes open for next year's special gift for your loved one!
Show her that you care with something from eBay. They have everything.

Teenagers - while you still can...

Dear Rich Bastard

The National Westminster Bank admitted last month that it keeps
personal information about its customers-such as their political
affiliation-on computer. But now Computer Weekly reveals that a
financial institution, sadly unnamed, has gone one better and moved
into the realm of personal abuse.
 The institution decided to mailshot 2000 of its richest customers,
inviting them to buy extra services. One of its computer programmers
wrote a program to search through its databases and select its
customers automatically. He tested the program with an imaginary
customer called Rich Bastard.
Unfortunately, an error resulted in all 2000 letters being addressed
"Dear Rich Bastard". The luckless programmer was subsequently sacked.

Cow ends up in car after accident. No bull.

You have to look closely at this picture to see the cow, but the bovine beauty ended up inside the car after a lady in Massachusetts hit a pair of cows while driving through the countryside.

The CORRECT way to use a weighing scales

Ladies, Gents-
All this time, we have been using weighing scales incorrectly, and as a result, getting disappointing results.

This is the correct way to use them:


From Liam